May I live?

India ... Raped!

Yatra Naryastu Pujyante, Ramante Tatra Devataha! said our ancient texts which means Gods reside where a woman is revered...well, I am sure after the recent spate of women centric crimes and continued spate over centuries where a woman is degraded and used as a commodity in a society drunk on patriarchal machismo, the Gods shifted out long ago...

Why has this one rape galvanized India? Why is this one incident so touching? There have been several incidents earlier, in fact if statistics are to be believed, a woman is raped every 20min in this great "mother"land (sic) of ours...so what is special about this one case? The sheer brutality of it and the fact that such a crime was committed with such impunity by a gym instructor, a school bus driver...people you interact with everyday...the mind numbing violent nature of the crime. It shook the normally indifferent masses...

I am scared...scared because in our country a girl child is neither safe in the mother's womb nor outside. I am scared because the people I am supposed to approach for justice - the police - are not people I can trust. The so called leaders of our country are people making ridiculous statements, fanning the rage and disgust of a collectively shell shocked nation. I am scared that I am seeing democracy being eroded by power hungry materialistic people who are dead in terms of human emotion...and the only saving grace at this point of our dark times is a proactive  media. I am scared that I am living in a country that gives a damn about me, that all my intelligence, achievements etc.are of no consequence weighed against my being a woman, and that I am just meat to the wolves, my other attributes mean less than zilch! Among all this darkness, a silver lining - I do not have a daughter, thank heavens...I would have been a nervous wreck by now! I would not want my daughter brought up in a country which does not value her.

The list of crimes against women start from female foeticide where the girl child is killed before she is born, if she escapes that she is considered below par to be educated esp if her brother is around and of course cross the teens without having some lech grope her at the least, and rape her at the worst,sexual innuendos at the work place, then she marries not with dreams of a happy life but just fingers crossed that she survives dowry - hungry in-laws, lechy men folk if she joins the ubiquitous joint family,  and  if she survives even that then she has to live through old age neglect with no schemes to help her if she is neglected by her golden boy! A journey fraught with nerve - wracking fear and hopelessness...where shall we end? The list goes on...and on...If she is from rural India, its even worse. How can it get worse? Oh, don't worry...our patriarchal society has made sure it is accomplished.

Repression is not unique to India. What may be unique is our deeply imbedded, religiously and historically sanctioned acceptance of a hierachical stratification of society combined with a reflexive casual disregard of anyone less privileged. This applies at all levels of our society, from the landless laborer to the cosseted billionaire. I suggest that our attitudes towards women are an integral part of this mindset. Unless we face up to this larger issue, until we recognize the inherent humanity and dignity of the “other”, I’m afraid that the rights and freedoms of women will continue to be trampled upon.

Unless we can stop being MUTE spectators and people who will wait to react only when something happens to someone close to us, unless we become a more inclusive society where any injustice to anyone will not be tolerated, India will be raped again and again. Unless every woman feels safe to wear what she wants, go where she wants, when she wants, achieve what she wants, get her right as an equal without having to fight for it, we have not achieved freedom. Till man and woman respect each other in every way, where women are not subjugated, baby girls killed, brides killed for dowry, and that ugly act of sexual harassment which is called "eve teasing" stops being viewed as macho or funny, where humour is not sexist, we are not progressing. Until and unless every Indian demands her and his right to live - freely and without suppression and fear, unless we apply zero tolerance to any and all acts of brutal sexism, we are not humans. Let us all first and foremost agree to NEVER keep quiet about any injustice to anyone, no crime however small against anyone, pledge to inculcate respect for one another esp in children as they grow, we might become a better society in a few hundred years. We have to begin NOW...

Here I have to quote a friend who said it very well - The reaction of our ruling elite to the sickening Delhi gang rape is instructive in this regard. The first response was to use the police to barricade and shield their privileged enclaves in Lutyen’s Delhi from any possibility of being touched by the mass outpouring of protest. Protest is a threat to power, and power must be protected at all costs. And, when the Home Minister finally deigned to appear on national television, he reacted with imperious indignation to the suggestion that he should have considered meeting and hearing the protesters. As reported by Anil Dharker in the December 30th Deccan Herald, the minister said, “What if one hundred tribals are killed in Gadchiroli or Chhattisgarh? You will expect us to go there too.” Of course, once it became clear that the protests by the urban middle class were not going to die away quietly, the ponderous machinery of our bureaucracy creaked into action and churned out boilerplate expressions of concern that were duly recited by our leaders in a laughable attempt to demonstrate empathy. I think one may be justified in assuming that their calls for careful study and reflection are nothing more than an attempt to kick the issue down the road. Is this a government by the people for the people and of the same people? Somehow, I find it hard to believe it is...

Ultimately, how safe our society is boils down to how strict and effective our law and its execution is. A psychologist said “Despite civilization, education and consciousness, the danda is the most effective means of keeping order,is it? If people think they can get away with it, they will push the boundaries. But of course, in cases such as the Delhi gang rape, these people are indeed wired differently. They are very sick.”

True, but however sick they may be, if they didn’t think they could get away with it, they may have thought twice about what they did. And so the people who are responsible are the policemen, the people on the road, and yes, us! We all need to be alert, sensitive, firm in a zero-tolerance policy and willing to help and protect the weakest in our society. If in the last 30 years there has been only one conviction - is law a deterrent at all? No, its laughable!

A friend said "We are hearing many calls for “fast-tracking” the prosecution of rape cases. While I heartily agree, may I suggest that we begin by fast-tracking the many outstanding rape charges against our elected representatives in panchayats, town and city councils, and state legislatures." Amen!

Many say the 23 year old victim has left for a better world, yes, considering the terrible ordeal she faced which killed her, but can we take a learning from this unfortunate incident, change the collective mindset of our people with women being respected as people who have a right to live just as anyone else?? Please? You see..I am a woman...I just want to live...with dignity. That's all.